Breaking Through Self-Imposed Limitations in Building and Marketing Your Mediation Practice

There is an experiment often cited in discussions about behavioral conditioning involving fleas in jars. While it may not be a formal scientific experiment, it is frequently used as an anecdote or metaphor for limitations imposed by environment or conditioning.

In this experiment, fleas are placed in a jar with a lid. Fleas naturally jump very high, but when the lid is on the jar, they eventually learn to jump just high enough to avoid hitting the lid. After a while, even when the lid is removed, the fleas continue to jump only to the height where the lid was, as if conditioned to believe there’s a limit above them. This is often used to illustrate learned behavior and self-imposed limitations.

Though this flea experiment is more metaphorical than a rigorous scientific study, it does demonstrate principles of learned behavior, conditioning, and limitations resulting from environmental restrictions, which are well-documented in behavioral psychology studies.

If you're a mediator trying to grow your practice, you've probably faced challenges that make you question whether you're really on the right track. Maybe your marketing efforts aren’t paying off, or it feels like you're stuck working with the same small client base. Believe it or not, many of these limitations might be self-imposed. By understanding the psychology behind these mental barriers, you can find ways to break free from them and take your practice to the next level.

Here are 8 insights from behavioral psychology that can help mediators overcome self-limiting beliefs and thrive in practice development and marketing.

1. Learned Helplessness: Don't Let Marketing Defeats Hold You Back

Ever heard of learned helplessness? It’s a term coined by psychologist Martin Seligman to describe how people (and animals) stop trying after facing repeated failures. This can happen to mediators, too. If you’ve tried different marketing strategies and they haven’t worked, you might feel like nothing will ever change, so why even bother?

What to do: Instead of focusing on what hasn’t worked, shift your mindset and try something new. Maybe your marketing isn’t hitting the right audience, or you haven’t yet found the right niche. Experiment with new approaches—whether it’s beefing up your online presence, reaching out to new networks, or offering specialized services—and don’t be afraid to pivot until you find what works.

2. Conditioned Thinking: Stop Thinking Small About Your Practice

Think of the elephant rope story: young elephants are tied with a rope they can’t break, and when they grow bigger, they don’t try to break free, even though they totally could. The same thing can happen in your practice. You may have conditioned yourself to think small.

What to do: Challenge your assumptions. Set bigger goals and go after larger cases or new client markets. Sometimes the only thing holding you back is your mindset. Take a good look at your practice and figure out where you can aim higher.

3. Fixed vs. Growth Mindset: Be Open to Learning and Trying New Things

Carol Dweck’s research on mindsets shows that some people believe their abilities are fixed, which means they avoid challenges for fear of failure. On the other hand, people with a growth mindset see every challenge as a chance to learn and improve. Which one sounds more like you?

What to do: Embrace a growth mindset. Step outside your comfort zone, whether that’s by learning new skills, tackling a different kind of case, or trying out a fresh marketing tactic like webinars or writing articles. Even if things don’t go perfectly the first time, you’ll grow from the experience—and that’s what really matters.

4. The Pygmalion Effect: Believe in Your Practice and It Will Grow

The Pygmalion effect tells us that people tend to rise to the expectations set for them. If you’ve got low expectations for your mediation practice because you’ve faced tough competition or have limited experience, you might not push yourself to succeed.

What to do: Start by setting ambitious but realistic goals for your practice. Believe in your potential for growth. If you expect your practice to expand, you’ll take actions—like networking more, investing in marketing, or seeking out bigger clients—that lead to that growth. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your practice as much as you do!

5. The Scarcity Mindset: Get Creative with the Resources You Have

It’s easy to fall into the scarcity mindset, which basically means you’re so focused on what you don’t have (money, time, connections) that you fail to see what you do have. For example, you might think you can’t market your practice effectively because you don’t have a huge budget.

What to do: Shift your focus to the resources you do have and get creative. Use low-cost marketing methods, like creating content (blogs, videos, social media posts) that showcases your expertise. Join local organizations or network online. You don’t need a massive budget—just resourcefulness and the right connections to get your name out there.

6. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: What You Believe Becomes Your Reality

The self-fulfilling prophecy is a psychological phenomenon where your beliefs influence your actions, which in turn leads to the outcome you expected. So if you believe your mediation practice will struggle to grow, you might (without realizing it) avoid the actions that could help it grow—like marketing, networking, or asking for referrals.

What to do: Start believing in your success and act accordingly. Visualize what success looks like for your practice and start taking steps in that direction. Small wins, like landing a new client or getting positive feedback, can build momentum and reinforce your belief that your practice can grow.

7. Breaking Psychological Barriers: Find Your Four-Minute Mile Moment

Before Roger Bannister broke the four-minute mile, no one thought it was possible. But once he did it, lots of runners followed in his footsteps, proving that the real barrier was psychological. Sometimes, the same is true for your mediation practice—you might think you’ve hit a ceiling in terms of growth, but that’s just a mental block.

What to do: Aim for your own “four-minute mile”. Set a bold, audacious goal for your practice—whether it’s landing a certain number of clients, expanding into a new niche, or launching a marketing campaign that seems a little intimidating. Once you break that barrier, you’ll realize the limits you thought existed were mostly in your head.

8. Locus of Control: Take Ownership of Your Practice's Success

Psychologist Julian Rotter’s locus of control theory explains how people view their ability to influence their own outcomes. Those with an external locus of control believe outside forces control their destiny, which can lead to passivity. If you think market trends or luck are the main factors that determine your success, you might not take the actions needed to grow your practice.

What to do: Shift to an internal locus of control. Take responsibility for the growth of your practice by making intentional decisions—whether that’s improving your marketing, refining your services, or expanding your network. By believing that your actions determine your success, you’ll be more empowered to make the changes needed to grow your practice.

Final Thoughts

Whether it’s mindset, early experiences, or outside expectations, self-imposed limitations can hold mediators back from reaching their full potential. But by applying these lessons from behavioral psychology, you can recognize and break through those barriers. Take control of your practice’s growth, experiment with new marketing tactics, and push yourself to aim higher. The success you’re aiming for is well within your reach—all you need to do is believe it and act on it.